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Note from Nicole ~ The Havening

By Nicole Donnelly

Is there a mom out there who is not dealing with anxiety? Anyone? Bueller?


Didn't think so.

If you weren't feeling huge amounts of anxiety before, the COVID lifestyle surely knocked it into you. I have battled anxiety since our youngest was born almost seven years ago and the past two years have kicked it up a couple of notches. I have tried what feels like a million tricks to calm it; from medication (which helps) to deep breaths (ehhh...) to therapy (long term solution) and everything in between.

Some techniques I have come to rely on are daily exercise, healthy eating, time alone, time outside, picking up a hobby I had long neglected, and playing with my kids more. These seem to help, but I'm always looking for something new; a different method to add to my repertoire.

A good friend of mine recently introduced me to my newest tool in my arsenal of anxiety coping methods: havening. It's an easy and super soothing thing. There is a long version, which you can find here, but the short version that has proven itself to me as a way to calm my nerves includes just two things: lightly tapping your collar bone while you close your eyes and then using the tips of your fingers to lightly stroke your forehead, shoulders, arms, and hands.

If the technique works as intended, you might notice your emotional tension diminish right away. Its creators believe this happens because havening disrupts the pathways in your brain that activate distressing memories. (

Someday in my perfect world, my seemingly ever-lasting anxiety will be something I don't hardly have to worry about. But for now, knowing I have some tools that help manage it and knowing that I have people I love who love me enough to pass along new methods to me, is the greatest help I can have.

Wishing you all a beautiful, stress-free weekend. BUT, if you find yourself stressing... try that havening thing. ;-)




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