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Note from Nicole ~ Putting the Cart Before The Horse

By Nicole Donnelly

Ok, friends. How many of you have tried to get your kid to stop crying by saying "stop crying?"

And how about insisting your kids play extracurricular sports starting at a young age so that they are "up to par" when it comes to middle and high school teams?

Anyone out there commit to an event before knowing all of the details?

Or act on a sense of intuition when you felt a draw to someone, friendwise or romantically, without ever having spoken to or learned about them?

Ever overspend on a house or car, resulting in not having the funds to vacation, eat out, etc.?

Do any of these resonate with you?

In learning more about how to parent our kids (#therapy), I am realizing how often we've put the cart before the horse when it comes to raising our family.

We forget that they are little people. Actual, real, full human beings! With all the same body parts as us. Isn't that fundamentally kind of crazy to think about?

The difference, though, is that we have decades of life under our belts. Our little ones (mine in particular) have less than one. It can be easier for us as adults to manage our feelings, handle our stresses and fears, and control our emotions. But it's important to remember that our kids don't know how to do that unless we teach and help guide.

So when they're frustrated and crying because they aren't moving as quickly as we'd like them to in order to get out the door, it's tough to take a step back and remember that they just need help managing that scenario. It might mean we're a few minutes late to school or miss the opening credits in the movie we're headed out to see. But if it means we took those few minutes to help guide them through their big emotions and use the situation as a teachable moment, then it was time well spent and a parenting job well done.

I am hoping that remembering to take this step back helps me get that horse ahead of the cart again. So that my kids know their expectations, how to better manage their emotions, and how to become big, full, actual real people. ;-)

Have a great, patient weekend.



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