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Note from Nicole ~ I Mom Friend So Hard

By Nicole Donnelly

I am obsessed with the ladies from I Mom So Hard, and I get sucked into their YouTube channel every time I see one of their videos.

I was inspired by one of their videos I watched this week, so let's talk mom friends. Mom friends are hard to find. Not because there aren't a million moms out there also looking for friends, but because you need to find the RIGHT mom friends. There are the moms who work out, and the ones who don't. The ones who eat organic, and the ones who don't. The ones who clean their own houses, and the ones who don't. The ones who drink coffee, and the ones who drink wine, and the ones who drink both. But you need to find the right mix of mom friend that works for you and your kids.

So here were my criteria for new mom friends when my first son was born:

Must drink coffee. Must talk to me first. Must want to get the heck out of the house at least occasionally. Must feed their child goldfish. Must be willing to shovel Ho-Hos in their face at any hour of the day. Must be concerned with doing the right thing in regards to raising their kids, but don't go overboard because I couldn't handle that. Must have kids the same age as mine. Must not have a smarter kid than mine. And the list went on and on.

So, I'd go to playdates and events to meet new moms and I met a literal TON. The one who rolled her eyes over someone making their own pureed kale for their 8-month-old is the one who won my heart. And the first time she came to my house, she brought an entire box of Ho-Hos. Without prompting. SCORE!

But guess what? She doesn't like coffee. She didn't talk to me first. Her son is younger than mine and is smarter in many areas than my boys. We're not always a perfect mom match, but we are totally a perfect mom match. Because we get each other, we don't judge each other, we love each other's kids as our own.

So my list has changed. My criteria for new mom friends NOW is this:

Be a good person. Be the best mom you can be. Laugh at yourself and me. Laugh at your kids when they do dumb things. Let me laugh at your kids when they do dumb things. Be nice. Be kind. Be helpful. Be honest. Be lazy. Tag me in ridiculous stories/memes on Facebook.

See how that changed a bit? Most of what we think we want doesn't *really* matter when it comes to finding the perfect mom friend. So that lonely mom feeding the ducks with her kid? Strike up a conversation. She may not like coffee, but I bet she'll let you laugh at her kid when the duck bites his finger!

Finally, the oldie-but-goodie video that got me thinking and always makes me laugh til I let a little pee out. TMI? #sorrynotsorry




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